When I started blogging last year, I began writing a few times a week. I then decided to cut it back to a few times a month. Then I decided that maybe I was boring people with my nonsense chat so I cut it back to once a month. I also decided I’d never write for the sake of it. I’d only do it when I had something to say as I don’t want my writing to ever feel forced.
However, here I am… sort of writing for the sake of it.
It’s the last day in April and I don’t want this to be the first month that I’ve not blogged. So I’m writing about not writing… I think?
As most of you will now know, my “headline” to my blog page is ‘Just a “normal” girl, trying to find a “normal” guy… online.
Be careful what you wish for because… it seems I have found a “normal guy”… online. Ok so he’s hardly normal but neither am I. He’s my kind of normal and he’s great. “Normal, normal” is boring.
So it’s hard to write about being single and looking for love online when you appear to have found it. I didn’t want all my followers to feel like I’m a bad friend who has dropped you all now I’ve got a boyfriend. I haven’t! I promise!
I could write about the first stages of dating, the awkward things like meeting the parents (however neither has been awkward), the getting to know each other, the conversations, the learning about each other, but at the moment I feel like it’s all our own little secret. Our relationship is ours and no one else’s and it’s not that I don’t want to share… I just like that it’s ours. I’ve put so much of my life openly and honestly out there- not just through blogging but through my book too that I think this is now our time.
Everything is really great though. Still! It’s a miracle!
I feel like I want to use this “not really a blog post, blog” to tell those who have been online dating a while or are new to it to not give up. But it’s hard because I really do know how it feels. And that everyone says “don’t give up, there’s someone out there for everyone” but it’s SO hard to believe. And sounds like such a cliché. I used to look at friends and family members who had met their partners/husbands/wives online and think that they must just have been super lucky and that it clearly was never going to work for me. I still am in a little disbelief now and can’t believe how lucky I have been however it has taken 5 years of absolute nonsense. So it’s not been an easy ride.
Another huge cliché- which at a time I used to hate people saying to me was “it’ll happen when you least expect it, but it’ll be when the time is right” however I got to a point in my life where I did start to believe that. I believe in fate, and the Universe doing it’s thing. I know it’s not for everyone, but it works for me. What I will tell you about my lovely man is that when we first met, “our” time wasn’t right. We both had a lot on, things planned etc, however I felt like I’d know him for a long time and that I’d found a great new friend in him. So a few months down the line of being friends, “our” time suddenly became the right time.
Nothing has felt forced between us. It feels like it happened very naturally, very organically. But I think one of the main things has been communication. For me, lack of communication doesn’t work in a relationship. Fully understanding each other’s wants and needs and feeling comfortable enough to talk about them is totally refreshing. Talk to each other!!
So I guess I’m just writing to say I’ve not forgotten about you all, however all is good and I’m very happy, and please to all you lovely single people… keep going, I know it’s grim and constant knock backs and rejection are hard to take but I do believe everyone’s fairy tale is out there to be found.
Also… maybe I should change my headline to “Normal girl found normal guy… online”
As I no longer receive ‘mental messages’ from weirdos… if any of you online daters have any and wish to send them over, maybe I’ll write my next blog on all the crazy messages you have received and see how they add up to the madness I used to get sent!