So… hi… it’s been a while…
I know said I’d continue blogging, I said I’d not “dump” you all… but the reality is… actual real life has become busy… so I’ve decided to write this one final blog. I’ve also decided to change my socials/website to “single girl found single guy online”… because almost two and half years later we are still together and very much in love and I don’t want the Universe thinking I’m still looking!!
I know.. who knew it would ever happen!? I didn’t think it was ever possible. Everyday I can’t believe how lucky I am. I’ve never understood “true love” until now. And now I get it.
Many people have been asking for months if I’m ok… if we are still together etc because I’ve gone quiet on social media. Not just my blog/book social media but also my personal one. I’ve come to realise that I was potentially (definitely) using social media to prove to everyone that I was ok on my own when I was single. And I was having all the fun- which I was- but I felt like I wanted to prove it. I think if I’m honest (which I am), I was also using it as a platform to show exes and other people I’d dated how much fun I was and how much I didn’t need them anyway…
However I now don’t feel like I need to prove anything to anyone because I’m genuinely very happy in my “offline” real world. If we are somewhere doing something amazing, I live in that moment rather than saying “hang on, can we just pause this amazing moment because I must film it for insta” or “I must tag us in so everyone knows how much fun we have together”… of course I take photos to remember these amazing memories for when we are 103 years old and I can’t remember them, but I no longer feel the need to over share.
For those that don’t know, my wonderful man works overseas a lot… many people also say “oh you must miss him so much, it must be so awful”… of course I miss him, but I’m used to being on my own and I’m also very happy in my own company- I very much enjoy “me time”- it took me years to get there but I now fully enjoy it. Plus, we continually get to look forward to his returns and it makes us fully appreciate time together when he is home. I feel like it also strengthens our bond. We’ve had to learn to strengthen our communication- it’s something we’ve both felt very strong about since meeting- if a couple can’t communicate, then it’s never going to work. I knew from the start he’d be away working a lot and I knew it was something I’d be ok with- I often ask myself if I’m weird for being so ok with it as many people make think I should be crying on the sofa every night longing for his return… but I guess everyone is different… and it’s not a relationship many would want… but at the same time, there are lots of relationships I look at and think that’s not what I’d want. We are all different and the right person is out there for everyone. What works for us may not work for others.
We have lived together for just over a year- (although it feels so much longer) and are currently renovating a house together which we will soon move into which is very exciting! I used to look at people who were moving in together and think how scary it must be.. what if it’s not right? What if they end up hating each other? But now I’m in that situation.. I can’t believe how natural it all feels. I guess this is how it feels when you just know it’s right? No dramas, no issues, just all very easy.
There is however another kind of love that I’ve found- hence the title of this blog.
I’ve got an allotment! No I’m not having a midlife crisis… I’ve found what else truly makes me happy. It’s a mixture of being outdoors, growing and nurturing something, eating pure organic food I’ve grown myself, my shed (which brings me probably too much joy!), the people… I’ve been doing a lot of research and watching a lot of programmes about gardening and mental health and I believe it’s good for the soul. I love being outside on my own with my fork and space for hours and hours. I get totally lost in another world. As a child, my Dad had an allotment and I have fond happy memories of going there with my sister and eating peas straight from the pods… so I feel like I’ve done a full circle.
I think I’m a person who needs a “project”- I’ve never been one to come home and binge watch a boxset. My book was a project- which turned into my blog being a project, I guess dating and finding the right man was a project?!… and now I have this which certainly keeps me busy.
Find something that makes you happy, and do it.
I still can’t believe that online dating finally worked for me. I also still want to say to others- don’t give up! But also don’t settle for someone who isn’t 100% right. I know we aren’t all perfect- no one is… but everyone deserves to find their version of perfect.
So I guess this is it. Thank you all for being so lovely and wonderful over the past few years. I feel truly blessed to have had so much support, my book is still available on Amazon (and is currently in the sale!!)- but no- there will be no second book… because I’m busy happily living my “Happily Ever After”…