Dating Tips for 2018

I have written blogs in the past about dating “trends” and explaining such trends like ‘Catfishing’ and ‘Breadcrumbing’… however I’ve discovered that there’s a whole new world of these trends in 2018 so I thought I’d share my findings! Some of them are hilarious!

Hoovering– trying to pull someone back into a relationship who you’ve let go of for a while, however you only want them back as you’re lonely.

Catch and release– when someone is on dating apps and appears to want a relationship however once you “catch” them, turns out they are “too busy to date” meaning they were just wasting your time. RELEASE THEM BACK INTO THE DEEPEST DARKEST OCEAN.

Roaching– this term comes from the belief that if you see a cockroach, there are generally many others not too far away that you can’t see. Meaning in the dating world that someone has a variety of other dates on the go at once and if caught out will probably say that there was no DTR conversation (which apparently stands for “define the relationship”) and therefore what you have is not “exclusive”.

Serendipidating- this is when you have a date booked in with someone but they put you off and put you off pretty much waiting to see if something better comes along. RUDE.

Flexting: is just cringy. It’s when a man or woman boasts about themselves online. Bigs themselves up. Yes you need to be positive about yourself and your life… but there’s taking it a step too far and it can come across very arrogant!

Firedooring: this basically means that one person is more into the other… one keeps themselves closed, locked down whilst the other is running towards them, opening and giving more than the other. If this happenes… you’ve been firedoored. For example… they never reply to your texts but you always reply to theirs, wont commit to any kind of plans with you, all of these signs are warnings! Run away from the fire door!

Pokemoning: when someone is trying to collect as many dates as possible, you’re just a number to them.

Cricketing: this is when someone deliberately doesn’t reply to a text message knowing that you’ll have seen they’ve read it.

Phubbing: is when you are on a date and whoever you are with is choosing to be on their phone than chat to you. You are being Phubbed.

Ross Kemping: this is one of my favourites! When you don’t hear off someone you’ve chatted to or dated for months, then they send you a message out of no where. And when they tell you the reason, it’s something ridiculous like they’ve been in Japan filming a documentary about tribes.

Hatfishing: this is a form of catfishing but it’s where someone goes to extreme lengths in online photos to hide their lack of hair and you don’t find out until you meet them!

Whilst looking into all these mind blowing new terms, I also discovered some VERY interesting facts that may help you in the online dating world.

Generally the most amount of time spent on dating apps is on a Sunday. Fridays are the least popular day. However on Fridays and Saturdays, people generally swipe much more freely (probably due to gin) but are more picky on Mondays and the best time of day to send a message is between 8 and 10pm.

Apparently the most successful profiles are those that have at least 6 photos on them and short and snappy messages with maximum 15 words are the most successful ways to start a conversation.

So there you go. Dating really is a minefield and with all these extra games involved… I wish you well on your journey… and… don’t get Ross Kemped!

If you need some inspiration for those first opening 15 words… I saw this book in Paperchase. It has lines like “You remind me of a parking ticket… you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you”…. classy.