Yesterday I had the greatest date day ever. It lasted 11 hours- it started with brunch and coffee, we then fell into the closest bar as it was heavily raining- it just so happened to be happy hour on cocktails at the bar- winner! We sat and had three (realistically it was four or five) gin cocktails. We chatted lots, laughed, put the world to rights- there wasn’t really a topic that we didn’t cover. It momentarily stopped raining so we decided to move on. Stumbled across a lovely little hotel which had a beautiful cosy bar in there. We both like red wine so decided a wintery day probably needed red wine. It was DELICIOUS red wine, and was the perfect temperature which always makes me happy. We sat up on high seats and continued to chat. We moved onto discussions about whether we want to get married (not necessarily to each other) and whether we’d like children. So great to chat to a guy about this without him freaking out and he actually instigated the conversation.
We then decided that we were hungry again so we ran through the streets on Manchester sharing the smallest umbrella that there ever was (and it was from a pound shop so wasn’t really keeping us that dry) and stopped in a bar that serves the BEST pizza by the slice. I had warned him before we went in that the pizza comes on paper plates, that the wine would come in a plastic wine glass and that the music was kind of rock music- all of which I didn’t think was his thing at all but I told him to go with it as it really is the best pizza in town so he took my caveat and in we went. His face definitely suggested he was unsure but once the pizza arrived he was a changed man. I had done well.
After our bellies were happy and full of pizza, we decided that we could both do another glass of red. So I took him to a lovely bar/restaurant. Candle lit, dimmed lighting, they give you blankets, you sit on rugs- perfect on a cold wintery day. We ordered a bottle of red and went crazy and ordered a mixed fruit crumble to share. This really was turning out to be the best day ever.
The wine continued to flow, as did the conversation.
I noticed a couple sat a few tables away from us. They were holding hands across the table. Both hands were engaged. She was longingly starring into his eyes. He was awkwardly trying to work out how to drink his pint as both his hands were taken. He kept managing to “break free” but she constantly insisted one hand was connected at all times. At one point he was trying to take a sip using a hand which was locked down by the other. It looked uncomfortable and awkward. It led us to have a conversation about PDAs (public displays of affection) and what is acceptable and what isn’t. For me, holding hands across a table is not ok. It’s too much. And too awkward. I however am a huge fan of walking and holding hands. He asked me why I thought this was ok but in a bar/restaurant it wasn’t ok. I actually couldn’t answer. It’s just nice! I don’t mind an arm around me whilst walking but only for a very short time as again, it’s realistically not comfortable for anyone. We discussed having a hand on each other’s leg under a table if sitting next to each other. Again, I don’t think it’s necessary. You don’t HAVE to be touching at all times. DEFO no passionate snogging. God no. (not nowadays anyway- when I was 16, I was probably a fan) For me, them being out with me is enough, a reassuring glance or smile can give me butterflies, I don’t need that constant reassurance of touching. I do however like subtle “touching” (no- not like that for those of you with filthy minds) a nice brief hand on my back, the odd leg squeeze, a touch of my arm, a kiss on the cheek. Basically nothing that lingers too long. It may be that I’m traumatised from a date I once went on when a man licked my chin… but for me… too much PDA-ing is not ok. It’s embarrassing for them and it’s awkward for others who are “watching” I never want to be one of those couples where others are sitting from a far saying “they need to get a room”
So my date and I discussed our own personal “rules” for dating- what we like and what we don’t like. He’d touch my arm from time to time and ask me if that was ok. Tried to make me feel awkward by trying to hold my hands across the table (which was actually quite hilarious)
Our perfect date ended after ANOTHER bottle of wine (ok we didn’t finish it and he put it in his pocket to take home) and we went our own separate ways.
I will 100% be seeing him again because James is one of my oldest and best friends. And is gay. A gay man who knows how to do dates well and how to treat a woman. I will now forever be disappointed if all my dates from now on don’t go as well as yesterday.
So guys- please take note! When asking what I’d like to do on a date… all of the above!
Here’s two messages I’ve received today that have actually made me chuckle…
S****: Hi Shells, how’s your weekend been? Also what do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
And also this:
D******: Great profile and pics. Message me sometime… or marry me?
Yes… we had a brief photoshoot to document the best date ever thanks to a member of the bar staff……