About 15 years ago, I decided that one day I’d like to go to New York at Christmas with a boyfriend. Thought it’d be like you see in the films… all romantic, going ice skating, snuggling up to keep warm. Pretty much every year on New Years Day since I made that decision, my mate Natalie has said “this will be the year that you’ll go to New York, I just know it”.
All these years later, I decided to give up waiting and go. I can’t spend my life waiting for a guy to do all these things with, if I want to do them, I’m just going to do them!
I asked Natalie if she wanted to come with me. She said she couldn’t possibly take my dream away from me, however I told her there’s no one I’d rather spend a few days in New York with right now than her… and to think about it.
When you’re single, holidays are pretty tricky… purely because I LOVE going away but often struggle to find someone who wants to come with me as most of my friends are married or have kids. Last year I took myself off to Bali as I’ve wanted to go ever since watching ‘Eat Pray Love’ so I went and had my Julia Roberts moment on my own. However I wanted New York to be an experience I shared with someone.
Thankfully, Natalie said yes and we’ve just returned!
After spending days looking up at the amazing buildings and drinking Long Island Iced Teas in happy hours, I decided to have a little look on my dating apps. See if it’s any different out there- do they put the same info on their profiles? Do they say the same cheesy stuff in messages? I matched with a few on Tinder. Only one sent me a message (I decided not to be the instigator as obviously it’d be totally pointless to go on a date with someone who lives over there…unless it’s Brad Pitt) he simply said “Hi Shelly! How’s it going?” Bit dull. So I also decided to open Plenty of Fish to see who was around. As soon I was showing as “online”, I started to get messages. Sadly, the Americans aren’t big on words or chat up lines, just more of a “hi” and a “having a nice day?” Disappointment! Maybe it’s just part of the fast paced life? Maybe they don’t have time to sit & type messages? They all preorder their Starbucks breakfasts to speed up the process, so it makes sense that New Yorkers have no time for online dating!
One evening (ok, it was an afternoon but it was very, very rainy outside) we were sat at a bar and a guy came up to us… he literally threw his business card in front of Natalie and said “I don’t have time to stop right now, but have this. If you’re interested, text me” and off he went! He didn’t even really give us time to check him out! Was this how dating works in New York? Throw your number at people and run to avoid the rejection?! It’s like a brave real life swipe right! Fair play to the guy! Surely if he throws his number at enough girls, at some point one will text him?!
Maybe I should get business cards printed and throw them around Manchester and see what happens?
After 5 nights in New York, I decided I no longer felt the need or the urge to go with a boyfriend at Christmas. I had the best time with one of my best friends. I’m glad that I forever have that memory with her rather than some silly boyfriend.
Mental message of the day has to be from a Brit rather than an American sadly!… mainly because the Brits provide me with this sort of madness…
D*********: I would swim the length of the Thames, with a 30kg dumbbell strapped to my scrotum; and big Sam Allardyce on my back, spitting gravy in my face, just to hear you knock me back for a spaghetti dinner via webcam on a dialup connection. Hello, I’m Dan. I always forget that bit.
And FYI, I did find “Love” in NYC though… see…!