Why has talking on the phone become so weird? Why are people so afraid of it? Do people seem too real on the phone? Do situations become too real?
Nowadays people are able to hide behind text messages and are afraid of actually talking. Back in the day, the only way to get to know someone was by talking. Surely being able to talk to someone is very important in relationships?!
I got chatting to a guy on Tinder. He actually messaged me first which NEVER happens. Probably the most normal/down to earth guy I’ve chatted to for a long time… he was new to the world of online dating- I’m convinced this was why he was so normal. Not yet turned bitter and isn’t yet aware of the disappointments and the rejections. He’s all excited by the prospect of finding love online. Been single for 2 years and is ready to date, 37 years old and wants to settle down. He however is currently living in Egypt. Yup. Actual Egypt. Typical. It’s ok though, in 3 weeks time he’s moving back home to the UK. He’d actually paid Tinder £4 to put a pin back in his hometown so that he could search and see if he could find himself a date for his return. I’ve never known anyone to pay Tinder anything. This guy must be serious!
Within a few days, he’s pretty confident that he and I will go for a date and gives me his number. He suggests we have a “phone date”. I reply with “a phone date?! Woah woah woah! NO ONE CHATS BEFORE A DATE” or at least no one I’ve dated before. Other than one guy who I called by accident in the middle of trying to get a stray cat out of my flat but that’s whole other story…
He tells me he’s not after a pen pal and as we can’t meet for 3 weeks, it makes sense to chat and get to know each other on the phone. We plan for the date to commence at 7.30pm, he calls me on the dot. If he’s weird or awkward, it’s a game changer. Awkward silences aren’t my thing… but luckily, from the moment I answered, it was like I was talking to someone I’ve known for years. He had a lovely Yorkshire accent and sounded exactly as I’d imagined. We chatted for an hour and half about anything and everything. Turns out talking isn’t scary at all! It’s actually great. There should be an app that forces this before meeting in real life! I reckon it’d save a few wasted nights out!
Surely if there’s a “connection” on the phone, there’ll be some kind of connection in real life? I did have to warn him though that just because we get on very well on the phone, it didn’t necessarily mean there will be that spark and chemistry in real life… as he’s new to the dating world, it was something he hadn’t thought about. He’d basically decided that paying Tinder £4 was the best £4 he’d ever spent and he’d nailed online dating by chatting to just one girl and that was it. Done. Boom. His life sorted.
We chatted most nights and he’d often text after saying things like: “I enjoy our phone calls, you make me laugh”.
I genuinely enjoyed his chats too. Seemed like my kind of guy. Funny. Lovely. Silly. I was looking forward to meeting him.
The week before he was due home he text me in the morning and said he’d call me that evening. I went to message him at 4pm to just say hi and his profile photo had gone off Whatsapp. As had his time stamp. Weird. Thought it was my phone playing up so I went for a run. Came home and it was still the same. So I decided to iMessage him. Wouldn’t deliver. I tried to call him but it went straight to answer phone. Hmmmmmmm. I was worried something had happened to him as he’s in Egypt which isn’t particularly safe at the moment…
However I met one “crazy” years ago who blocked me. All of these things were familiar to me. I’ve been through this before. He’d gone and blocked me! WEIRDDDDD. WHYYYY???
How do you go from talking on the phone, sharing things about your life, telling me about your family, your job, your friends… to NOTHING?! This isn’t even Ghosting! This is just a full on mental, weird, odd, block. Who does that?!
I cannot get my head around it. Was he married? Was everything just a lie? Was he bored on his own in the desert and just wanted someone to chat to?! I’d told him about previous people I’d dated and his response was “why do men treat girls like that? Why are people weird? I’ll prove I’m normal”
I did promise him that I wouldn’t blog about him, but he promised me he wasn’t weird so……… if anyone does know Sam from Yorkshire who lives near the Lakes but also actually lives in Egypt… do tell him I said hi… and WTF.
Today’s mental message is this. Purely because it actually made me laugh…
E**** I need a worm friendly cuddle. Sensitive xx
2 minutes later:
P*******: Hey, I love all the stuff you’re into- besides the Haribo. I especially love rejection though. I wonder if you’ll spoil that for me.x