Back in the day, people used to meet at work, in pubs, in supermarkets… there was no lazy option of sitting on your sofa swiping left and right through people. I remember a mate of mine who never went to a supermarket without make up on and in her joggers because “you never know who you may meet down isle 11”. Maybe this is where I’ve been going wrong!
Effort used to be made for first dates, and second dates and I imagine the next 7 or 8 dates because if you were lucky enough to find someone you liked, who liked you back, you stuck at it and gave it a go.
Nowadays it’s hard enough to get a first date, never mind a second or a third.
People used to meet up to get to know each other, however nowadays if a person doesn’t fit your “criteria”- job, house, kids, height, eye colour, hair colour etc… it’s an instant no and a swipe to the left when maybe if you’d met face to face, there’d be chemistry. But nobody takes this anymore.
Is having a big pool of single people on your phone ruining the romance?
People meet up to see if you really look like your photos and are who you say you are. Rather than going to lots of effort to “woo” the person- going on a date in 2017 feels more like a business interview- it’s like it’s a transaction rather than a romantic night out.
No one wants invest time anymore… it’s like a shopping trolley… they put you in it initially, but once they’ve shopped around, if you’re a bit bruised or not ripe enough, they take you out and return you to the single shelf, knowing there are plenty more to choose from.
Online dating has created a “throw away” society… if you go on one date, and he or she is “ok”, you get on “ok” but you’re not all “OMG that was the best date ever, I’m totes in love, I think he’s/she’s the one”… then it’s fine to instantly decide they aren’t the one for you, because there are a million other single people in our phones waiting for us to swipe through. Whereas years ago, people would think “do you know what, that was a nice date, I’m going to go meet them again and see if anything comes of it”…
And then the worst thing is when you do get 2 or 3 dates out of someone and you think it’s all going brilliantly….. they start “ghosting” you…
Ghosting is basically when someone you think is interested suddenly disappears, or stops texting or calling as often as they used to. They just slowly fade away out of your life with zero explanation. They’ll stop being any initiator of conversation, they may respond to your messages but maybe a day later and it’ll be really short with no question… and then one day… they just stop. POOF! (that’s the sound effect of a genie’s lamp) Gone into that mystery Tinder cloud.
It’s ever so common in the dating world because people have started think it’s acceptable and the done thing- you don’t have to be brave anymore and have the awkward conversation of “it’s not you, it’s me, bla bla bla”… people just hope that by ghosting, you’ll get the message. (although if I’m 100% honest… because it has become such the norm to me and people do it all the time, I’ve definitely ghosted guys… sorrrrrrry!)
That thick layer of skin has to be put back on!
And here’s today’s “mental message”… I don’t even know what to say about it…!
M******: Good Morning. Or good evening? (very original, very creative)
I’ll be direct: I visited profiles, read descriptions.
Yours distinguished: your sobriety which changes in ambient vanity in other profiles.
And you seem adorably pretty, pretty adorable, even… All this made me want to write to you. There, there.
Well now I have to take care of my laundry. (yes my day looks breathtaking… a crazy thing)