Guys… you are SO welcome.

As I sit on my sofa swiping left and right (mainly left) I find myself shaking my head at the choice of photos that men choose to put on their profile.

So I’ve decided to dedicate an entire blog to what, in my opinion, is really not going to get you a match… it may be me being “fussy” but this is my own personal guide for all you men.

1) Inappropriate nakedness. There’s just no need for it at this stage. Yes, I’m really pleased you are “ripped”, well done you, but at least keep us girls guessing what’s under that shirt- and more- for the SUPER inappropriate ones amongst you.

2) Selfies in toilets. Why?! It’s the most unappealing place to take a photo! No one wants to see a toilet behind you.

3) Pouting. I’m not one to pout on photos (one of the cool kids in work tried to teach me once, I ended up looking like a fish. Or a duck. Either or, I did not look great) so guys… trust me when I say this, a straight man pouting is just a no.

4) Group shots. Now then, a group shot photo is ok, even maybe 2. But when it’s difficult to work out who is the common denominator as every photo is a group shot… you’ve lost me.

5) Smiling. It’s important. Us girls don’t want go on a date with a moody none smiling serious face. It’s not THAT hard… is it?!

6)Photos of lights. Yes. You read it right. I recently matched with a guy who looks great in 3 photos… but the other 2 are of lights. I decided to start a conversation with him. It went like this…

Me: Hi, nice light…

 S******: Thank you. How are you?

Me: Great thanks. How are you? How’s the light?

S******: You like the light don’t you? I’m good thanks. How’s the dating going?

Me: I just don’t understand why you’d use a photo of a light? I’m unsure many girls are up for dating a light….

S******: haha. I use them at work, trying to explain it to people has been quite difficult.

The conversation continued and was all about his lights so I stopped responding. Don’t think he’s the man for me….

7) Kid shots- if you’ve got kids/nieces/nephews, that’s great, but I’m not sure when they grow up, they’ll be pleased to know you used a photo of them on Tinder to prove how great you are with children to pull the ladies.

8) Photos of E.T. Yup. I have nothing further to say. Random.

9) Old photos. We don’t care what you looked like as a kid, or 10 years ago. What do you look like right now? We need to recognise you when meeting for that first date! Don’t trick us into the 10 years ago you.

10) and this is probably the most important one… I’d suggest not using a photo of you and your wife on your wedding day…………………………

Annnnnd that’s it! I’m not too picky, right?! I’m sure you guys would give similar tips to give us girls…?!

Oh, and today’s message award goes to…..

T********: Are you single looking for a boyfriend? Do you like my pictures at all? My mobile number is 07********. I wouldn’t ever cheat on you because I’m not like that, I am a friendly, kind, helpful, trustworthy, responsible, respectable man. Am I your type at all? I live in Cheshire. Where do you live? What’s your name? Are you on Facebook? Would you date a 33 year old man? Do you like a man with or without and moustache and beard? Do you have any kids if you don’t mind me asking?

10 minutes later…

T********: What do you think of me? Am I your type to date at all? Yes or no?

15 minutes later…

T********: What’s your name? Do you fancy me? YES OR NO?

That’ll be a no.

And finally, I thought it was only fair that I share the photos I use of myself on Tinder so that you can judge me right back.

IMG_8958.JPG

 

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