Since Sunday, 856 people have “looked” at me and want to “meet” me according to ONE of the apps I’m on. I’ll let that sink in for a minute…
EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX MEN.
Other than me being a Z list pop star with 856 male fans coming to watch me at a gig (which I’m not- for those of you who don’t know me) what other situation would this happen?! It’s not normal. And it’s really quite terrifying.
And to make it even more terrifying… out of the 856 men, the ones whose tiny thumbnail photos I have seen… are definitely not my type (ok I’ve probably managed to look at about 40, I have an actual day job- so looking at all 856 is never going to happen. I am a busy girl for god’s sake! Online dating is a full time job in itself!)
The most ridiculous thing about all of this is if I was to meet every single one of them- because according to my mother “you never know til you actually meet someone, they may have something about them”- it would take me 2.5 years if I met one a day. Absolute madness.
I’m often questioned if I’m “too picky” and my response is always the same… when you get to 35 and are single, you pretty much 100% know yourself, know who you are and what you like. And also know what you like in a man. I know that it’s unrealistic to think the “perfect” man exists, but perfect for me will exist somewhere in the world and I’m not prepared to settle for someone at this stage in life who is not the right man for me. He’s just clearly is taking his time on the back of a super slow tortoise doing a pub crawl en route to me.
And anyway, most of them look like potential murderers so I also don’t like risking my life. Murder is not the life path I’m looking to go down thanks.
Weirdest 2 messages of the day go to these guys:
Y*********: Hi. Just been looking through your photos and you look fun. I play a few instruments and I can make a good tap dripping noise with my mouth. Good, hey?!?
Not really, no!!!……………… and this:
E*****: Not if you believe in reincarnation.
WHAT?! Why are you opening a message with that?! What does it mean?! STOP BEING WEIRD!
That’s obviously what I want to reply, but I choose to ignore it. It’s safer that way.
BTW… I’m probably up to 889 “viewers” by now…. HELP MEEEEE!
It Started With A Swipe 